Song: We used to be - Dandy Warhols
Quote: Berlin, Berlin du bist so wunderbar

Sometimes when you don't think about it, it hits you. Some random thoughts. Last time it hits me was two days ago. 0.31 o'clock, I was ready to go to bed, but because of my white curtains my room is bright in my room if outside there is a light. I can't really sleep when my room is bright, so I watched outside my window and - the whole sky was bright, like set alight in an orange colour. Very random for after midnight.
So standing there watching the sky it hits me. I would never had imagined me here in the big city all on my own, being ready with school. But now I am here, living my life. Time is running so fast. I remember latley things from my childhood. Good things, bad things, things where I embarressed myself, funny things. But they are gone. Maybe forever. They will never happen again. Strange thing, this memory.

Song: Join me in death
Quote: Nothing is for free, even death costs the life.

I always thought: I am not afraid of death, well, it's just another point that everybody has to past. I thought of it as something normal. But tonight, in Berlin, in a tiny little cinema, in the dark, where a taiwan film was playing it hits me. It was a death-scene, nothing special, something you almost see in every film (this time you even haven't really a connection towards the actors because there where confusing subtitles that didn't last long enough to read them) but my heart tightend and my only thought was: "No, there can't be nothing. Emptiness. No thoughts. It can't be over like this." I don't know where this thought came from. It was different then the thoughts I normally have. I can't really put this into words. But it was a scary moment. I wouldn't say, that I am afraid of death now, but it makes me think: I have to do so many things before I leave the planet...