Song: Seasons in the sun - Terry Jacks bzw. Le Moribond J. BrelQuote: "The luck consists not in the fact that you can act like you want, but in the fact that you always want what you do." - Tolstoi.Christmas time! Its getting dark outside, just around four o'clock and all I want to do is crawling under my blanket on my sofa with a nice, warm cup of black tee (the english way!) and watch out of my window, or the other way round and walk through the street, watching the stars and see my breath in the cold nightair and simply be happy. I think it doesn't need much, to be happy and that it are the small things that make you smile. But there are also the things, that can make you easily cry.
Well, well. It's almost 3 month, that I live here now. Wow, time is running.... Can't believe that. In ony two weeks I will be home again, but it will only be a visit, I am home here now. Strange thing to say. I didn't realize that when I was younger, that I wil
l leave home and move 600km away. But it was the right thing to do. Love everything around me ;) And I am glad that (besides one day, when I got a sad letter from home)I didn't feel homesick at all. That's unusual for me. Maybe it is because I was so sure I what I will do after school, maybe I am grown up? No, can't be ;)
Song: Numb (Linkin Park)Quote: "Darkness has no anwers!" (One Tree Hill)
Lately I know: It is really hard to be seperated from the people I know and love. In your everyday life you might not notice it, but you speak to them every day and laugh with them, tell them your problems and so on. I hadn't had internet and telefon (besides mobile phone which isn't that cheap) for 3 weeks and I felt disconnected to the word. Oh yes, I have to say: I am addicted to the media. Wow...well, I guessed it (in my englishtests in school, when we had to right essays about media), but that it would have this dimension I would have never guessed. I really felt relief about being able to login my accounts. I didn't feel, that I was up to the current news.
I know that I can call my parents whenever I feel like, but they have their own life and I feel like I disturb it (kind of), when I act like a little child that needs its parents. Even little pink elephants have to become adults ;) I know it's hard.
I can't believe that it is 3 weeks ago that I was home...I was never that long away from home...well...now it will be even more..but I am happy with it in a way. :)
Song: Post Blue - PlaceboQuote: I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. (Carl Sandburg)Well, well... now I have finally settled in my flat. Not yet in society in Berlin, College has't started yet officially, but that will be fine in a few weeks...at least I hope. I am not that sociable person, normally open to people I know well, but shy with strangers. I have an aim: starting all over at college. Don't do the same mistakes; don't seperate and do only your only thing.I even went swimming, although I hate swimming, but I thought a new start has somewhere to begin. But a dream came true, I am here in Berlin, are able to study what I wanted since 8th grade (really...I stuck to it over all the time and although EVERYONE told me not to!!) and live on my own. Although this is rather dificult, when you had such a home I had. Welcoming and peaceful, full of love. This sounds like a clicheé, but I am very glad that I have them.
Thoughts cross my mind these days all the time, thoughts of this kind that can never been answered. Why? Why do I ask all this questions? I can't say. But such is life.
Song: American Pie - MadonnaQuote: Busy Busy (from me)Seems as if I hadn`t quiet the time to write my daily blog. Too bad. But I will write soon I hope. Have some thoughts that need to be written down. But I still wait on college acceptions, so I am a little bit tensed lately. After my training that was bad, I have some time now to think and wirte and the most important one: Listen to music again.So, very little for today.
Song: Reincarnation - Roger Miller
Quote: "There is a legend, that fallen knights return as great horses." King Arthur (Movie)Isn`t this a nice thought? Being reborn as something great? I think the thought of being reborn in generell is a nice idea. Well, I was educated in the christian way , I even went to an evangelic school; but I read about Buddhism and the whole reincarnation-belief and I think it isn't wrong to believe in it. I think you can combine several religions, take the best ideas of everyone. I like the peaceful way and the controlling yourself through mediation of the Buddhism. It is something you can reach through patience and long practice of clearing your mind. But the most thing I like about the Buddhism and the current Dalai Lama is his tolerance towards other religions and science. He doesn't see a contradiction when the scientists proof something that confute a myth or something the Buddhists believe in. He is willing to rethink it, but he still finds a way to believe in his religion. Isn't the thought nice, that a part of the soul from a dead being will be reborn in something new? Even if it is a tree or a horse? Some people think that the idea is dumb or even the people who believe in it. There can't be someone old in someone new. But what is to say against he thought? You see a part from someone you loved in someone else? Maybe it isn't true, but isn't the idea the main point? The thought that it could be true can give you hope. Have you ever seen "little Buddha" with Keanu Reeves? There it is the same topic.I have never meet someone who died in another person - though I am young and maybe it will happen. For so long: "Om mani padme hum!"
Song: Thanks for the memories - Fall out boy
Quote: How can I be nostalgic for a world I never knew? (Graffiti on the Berlin Wall)Berlin. My new home (hopefully). A city with history. I think it is really important to know the history. Well, I can understand the sentence, it is sometimes hard to imagine what really had happend at this times, but when you have the opportunity to get to know the history about a place, I think you should take it. Even if you "never knew the world" - there are so many memories in this town about the injustice that had happend there, so you can get a feeling for it. I, for myself, wasn't part of this world, eighter. I wasn't born back then and never got the division to see, but I am nostalgic for the world I never knew. Ok, well, I am German, but I know that there is a lot of misery out there and I think we should- wherever we are- care for the history of the place and learn from it. You can't kn
ow every misery that's going on (it's too much unfortunately!!) but when you have the chance - take it! This person that wrote the quote on the last piece of the Wall had the chance. I wonder if he had taken it. But I doubt it, although in every corner of this city the memories are quiet obvious; but the graffitis on the wall show me, that it is just a sightseeing thing:"I was here" is one of the most written sentences. This one is almost poetic in comparison. It shows me, that the author had at least thought about the Wall as an memorial. It`s a start I think. So: "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great!"
Song: Feeling the moment - Feeder
Quote: A journey with 1000 miles begins with only one step. Lao-tse (4. century b.C.)
I love to travel. I have the idea of this little elephant, that I take with me everywhere I go and I will take a photo of it. It will be a documentation of the places I will see in my life. Especially now, when I take the first step into my independent life with my first own apartment and so on. The journey today was a family trip into the "wilderness" to celebrate a birthday and so the family came from different places together. I really like my family. I think that they are the only thing I miss when I move away to the other side of Germany; but I think it is an important step to begin your every own life maybe start your own family. The good thing is, that I know I am welcome everytime at my parents house and that they are there for me. I can't imagine a life without this family. When I see other families that are so broken I can't understand it. Our family life was always harmonical, but 
unfortunately I have seen so many other families that aren't this way. I think it is sad. A family is a basis, you need in life. It makes so many things easier. That is the reason, I think, why there are so many young people in Germany that need mental help, because there is no more support in the family. This is bitter. But a conversation sometimes help. Try it out and maybe you will see a miracle!
I will use this blog to write down some of my thoughts, so that I get them out of my head. Mabye it will also advocate my creativity and hopefully my english...Well, I just wanted to start with a good first post...and this is not exactly the one I thought of, but hey, give it time, it will become better...I hope ;)That`s it for now, I will sit down with a nice hot caramel-vanilla coffee and think about it....
l leave home and move 600km away. But it was the right thing to do. Love everything around me ;) And I am glad that (besides one day, when I got a sad letter from home)I didn't feel homesick at all. That's unusual for me. Maybe it is because I was so sure I what I will do after school, maybe I am grown up? No, can't be ;)
